is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Randomize
