im gay
i know
yea but for you.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
