I think i peed on brittanys purse
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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