I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
