definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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