TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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