I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
well, you know. whores of a feather.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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