She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
