If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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