and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
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