her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
