She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
