Do vagina's smell?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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