Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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