do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
