Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
