Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
The struggles of a small town man whore
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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