I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
