Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
