I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
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