me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
