God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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