butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
