you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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