She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
