My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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