god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
