Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
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