never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Randomize
