Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
