Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
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