So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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