If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Actions speak louder than pants.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
