Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Randomize
