i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Why is your signature on my underwear?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I need to sanitize my soul.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Randomize
