dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Randomize
