Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
