If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
