OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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