oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I cut my penus on the lid.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I got inside last night via doggy door
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
