She is in my trunk
Nicole vs. Life
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
