i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
