its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Randomize
