I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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