you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
