I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
