I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
3pm strippers are depressing
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
