There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
