I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
