if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
