so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I need to align my fucking chakras
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
