I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
